Rude Retirement Card
$5.00
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Rude Retirement Card
$5.00
Shipping calculated at checkout.
A hilarious, aggressive retirement card for the coworker abandoning you to the wolves.
Our handmade cards deliver a bold, cheeky twist to your gift giving experience. Designed to stand out, they each have a hilariously edgy watercolor illustration printed on the front with hints of foil elements, making it the perfect add on to any memorable gift.
*Due to the handmade nature of our cards, expect variability
Optional handwritten message can be added below for free.
Free handwritten message for cards
*Optional. Otherwise leave blank.
Details
Cards
- Heavyweight eco cardstock
- A6 size (105 × 148 mm)
- The handmade finish means every piece is unique
- Some cards have hints of hand-foiled elements
- Includes a quality envelope
- One NSFM red wax seal designed to keep things sealed until you're ready to unwrap the good stuff.
Shipping & Returns
1. Order Processing
We process orders within 1–2 business days after payment has cleared, because even we need time for caffeine and chaos management.
Most orders ship the next business day via NZ Post Overnight Express, so your card can start its inappropriate journey ASAP.
2. Shipping Times
We currently ship within New Zealand only.
Delivery typically takes 1–5 business days, depending on your location and how generous NZ Post is feeling that week.
You’ll receive tracking info once your order is on its way, so you can refresh it obsessively like the rest of us.
3. No Collections
We’re an online-only business, which means no pickups, no drop-ins, and no awkward driveway encounters.
Everything is shipped straight to your door from sunny Hawke’s Bay.
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4. Valentines 2026 Shipping Deadline
To guarantee delivery before Valentines day, please place your order by Wednesday, 11th February 2026.
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5. Christmas 2026 Shipping Deadline
To guarantee delivery before Christmas (and save you from that last-minute panic), please place your order by Wednesday, 16th December 2026.
This estimate is based on standard processing and NZ Post delivery times, any delays caused by the festive rush are out of our control (and probably NZ Post’s too, if you ask them).
6. Holiday Shutdown Period
We’ll be take a well-earned break from 24th December to 4th January.
Orders placed after 23rd December will be shipped starting the week of 4th January, because even Santa needs a nap after December.
7. Lost or Delayed Parcels
Once your order is handed over to NZ Post, delivery is their responsibility. If your parcel goes missing or takes an unreasonable detour, contact us at notsafeformahi@gmail.com, and we’ll help chase it up.
We’re not responsible for delays or losses caused by postal services, but we’ll always do our best to make things right.
8. Address Accuracy
Please double-check your shipping address before confirming your order. We can’t be held responsible for orders delivered to your ex, neighbour, or anyone else you accidentally gifted a surprise to.
Questions?
Email us at notsafeformahi@gmail.com we’re happy to help (unless you’re asking for free shipping to Antarctica).
