S
Steven Nicely packed & funny as fu*k card that I chose to go with this box. Also, so much cheaper than those bigger companies! I hope you guys go farrrr!
This is not a wholesome Valentine’s gift.
This is for people who enjoy chocolate, sexual tension, and have an unfiltered sense of humor!
Inside the box:
-Assorted chocolates & snacks,
-Novelty items, including a black flogging whip 😏
-A FREE greeting card of your choice.
All cards come with an envelope and a red NSFM wax seal!
Nicely wrapped, sealed and ready for you love to open.
If you choose to have a hand-written note inside of your chosen card, we will put the card in it's wax-sealed envelope and place it inside the gift box (which is a sealed box).
Free handwritten message for cards
*Optional. Otherwise leave blank.
1. Order Processing
We process orders within 1–2 business days after payment has cleared, because even we need time for caffeine and chaos management.
Most orders ship the next business day via NZ Post Overnight Express, so your card can start its inappropriate journey ASAP.
2. Shipping Times
We currently ship within New Zealand only.
Delivery typically takes 1–5 business days, depending on your location and how generous NZ Post is feeling that week.
You’ll receive tracking info once your order is on its way, so you can refresh it obsessively like the rest of us.
3. No Collections
We’re an online-only business, which means no pickups, no drop-ins, and no awkward driveway encounters.
Everything is shipped straight to your door from sunny Hawke’s Bay.
5. Christmas 2026 Shipping Deadline
To guarantee delivery before Christmas (and save you from that last-minute panic), please place your order by Wednesday, 16th December 2026.
This estimate is based on standard processing and NZ Post delivery times, any delays caused by the festive rush are out of our control (and probably NZ Post’s too, if you ask them).
6. Holiday Shutdown Period
We’ll be take a well-earned break from 24th December to 4th January.
Orders placed after 23rd December will be shipped starting the week of 4th January, because even Santa needs a nap after December.
7. Lost or Delayed Parcels
Once your order is handed over to NZ Post, delivery is their responsibility. If your parcel goes missing or takes an unreasonable detour, contact us at notsafeformahi@gmail.com, and we’ll help chase it up.
We’re not responsible for delays or losses caused by postal services, but we’ll always do our best to make things right.
8. Address Accuracy
Please double-check your shipping address before confirming your order. We can’t be held responsible for orders delivered to your ex, neighbour, or anyone else you accidentally gifted a surprise to.
Questions?
Email us at notsafeformahi@gmail.com we’re happy to help (unless you’re asking for free shipping to Antarctica).
Pre-order item
Soft armchair
$420.00
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